Definition of perspective: the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance.
Are you thinking about all the thoughts you are thinking? Are you aware of your thoughts or are you just rambling on about how your life sucks compared to all the youtubers and people doing all the things you wish you could do?
Here’s the thing. It easy to say “be positive” and every once in a while you tell yourself, “hey be positive, at least I can walk and I have a roof over my head,” but the reality is that you go right back to rambling on in your head about all the things you don’t have and how your life sucks dirty balls. Unless of course you are Buddha or Eckhart Tolle.
So what’s the answer, you can’t just shut off all those thoughts, and even if you are aware and try steer your thoughts with positive affirmations, negativity still creeps up in your subconscious and drives you down the path of “my life sucks”.
I have the solution. Stop telling yourself to be positive, that’s going nowhere. What you need to do is figure out what the “right” perspective is for YOU. This perspective or capacity to ‘view things in their relative importance’ is different for everyone. Your story is unique. What matters most is how you look at the world around you and determine how important it is to you.
Maybe you are working a crummy job and seeing other people having better jobs, or maybe you are running a business and see other people getting rich while you are struggling to buy Micky D’s.
Could be your neighbors are going to the lake again to whiz around on their cool ass speed boat and you’re busy trying to find shit to sell on eBay so you can pay your phone bill. Or god forbid, you are unhealthy and have an illness and while you lay in bed you are watching youtubers brag about new cars and how amazing they are. That’s a whole different story and your main focus is to “get healthy”(this blog is not for you).
Whatever the situation (outside of health) – no need to tell yourself to be positive, that is fleeting and your positive affirmations will fade into the abyss.
The trick is this. Take account of what’s in your life and define it’s importance. Rate it on a scale of 1-5 | 5 being tops.
- Recently lost a business – “not important move on” – rated 1
- My boyfriend hates me – “sucks but I kinda hate him too” – rated 2
- My dog keeps shitting on the carpet and I can’t afford paper towels – “FUCK!!” – rated 5
- My fucking knee is killing me – “Need to work out more” – rated 2
- My shoulder hurts and I think I have arthritis – “could be that I’m not taking care of myself enough” – rated 4
- I am struggling to pay the bills – “Always going to have bills” – rated 3
- I haven’t gone on vacation is 8 years- “this sucks too, but so what” – rated 1
- I hate my job – “Always have a choice” – rated 3
- I don’t fit in at school – “this is tricky” – I’ll give it a 4
- I am sick and tired of trying so hard- well now, “the easy train didn’t leave the depot” les brown – rated 1
- I use to be successful- “dumb ass” – rated 1
- I worry about money – “its never enough” – rated 2
So on and so on…
Get all these things defined in your head and even write them out. You can label them, in your head or on paper and rate them, whatever works best for you.
When you do this, look at each issue and first realize this is your story, it’s not to be compared with the “people are amazing videos” or super models or whoever you think has a better life.
Let’s take this one for example – I don’t fit in at school.
It may seem like on scale of 1-5 of importance, it’s definitely a 5 right? You go to school every day and seems like no one likes you and you sit alone and it’s just fucking miserable. But if you look at the bigger picture and you look closely at your story, this situation may be just a chapter that adds more flavor to your life book. Fuck, thousands, actually millions of people don’t fit in, and tons of celebrities and famous people didn’t fit in… Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Selena Gomez, the list goes on. Not saying you’ll end up the next Taylor Swift. We all know Taylor Swift is “Taylor Swift” because she was able to focus on what was important to her life story. “Relative Importance” Obviously she focused on music and didn’t focus on all the other shit head kids. When she gets older her main focus might be face cream or wrinkle reducers. Even Albert Einstein didn’t fit in – they called him the “dopey one”, and if you are reading this blog you’ll probably never end up like Einstein.
So in the bigger picture, not fitting in is more like a 4 on a scale of 1-5, since whatever you truly like doing, whatever your passion is– painting, singing, writing (fill in the blank) should always be rated a 5. That’s the thing. You can rate only one thing a 5 on a scale of 1-5, and that might change daily… So figure out what that top priority is and all the other shitty-shit things in your life have to take a different rating and a backseat.
Maybe your kids are rated 5. Maybe becoming famous is rated 5, or maybe just helping people with their passion is the most important thing in your life. Are there going to be struggles with the thing that is most important in your life? Certainly. That’s what makes life real and makes your story unique.
Right now, figuring how to pick up wet dog poop from the new carpet without paper towels gets my rating of 5 Stars. Everything else doesn’t matter. Not even web stats or blog shares.
This blog is entirely my own perspective, don’t over think it.