Having to Pee when stuck in traffic

Having to Pee when stuck in traffic

Having to drive to work in a ice storm ’cause your boss is a douche is pretty common place.  Living in Denver, the traffic is really sucking these days.

Driving the i25 without any bad weather is bad enough, but what do you do when it takes you 2 and 1/2 hours to get to the safety of your cube.  That commute is common but mix the inexperienced commuter who downs a giant coffee before embarking on his trip you’ve got a recipe for bladder disaster.

What do you do?

You can’t get out and pee on the breakdown lane. You look around and start thinking about that old diet coke can crushed up under the back seat.  Hmm that’s probably not going to work.

Well here’s the deal.  You gotta plan ahead.  You could always sport some adult diapers and just let it rip.  Its actually very satisfying to release.. You can even do it when you’re carpooling. If it starts to stink just mention that it smells like pee.  They’ll never put two and two together.  Just make sure when you arrive at work and go to the bathroom no one sees you drop it in the trash. That would be a story that would last for years. You might as well just shit your pants and quit.

So if you are not ready to soil your panties while driving, our favorite recommendation is a device that has the nickname Johnny Tube.  Used it many times so we can confirm, its got a wide opening and you can fit your whole package right in there (maybe, unless you are one of the lucky ones)  so you don’t get any spillage on your new slacks..  just make sure you carefully screw the top back on while you are going slow or stopped in traffic or hand it over to your passenger and have them tighten the cap, makes for a great moment.  And when you get to work make sure you dump it out soon or it ferments and will really start to stink.

 

For the dumping out method, I like the quick parking lot ‘look around’ and dump it right in the parking lot. If you’re overly concerned that your pee isn’t organic enough, just tuck it under your seat and dump it when you get home.  Otherwise you’re gonna have to bring to the work bathroom and then keep it in your gym bag under your desk and make sure you rinse it out so it doesn’t stink up the cube farm.  Just be glad you didn’t have to take a poop.  Not sure what you could use for that while you’re driving.

They also make a Female Version pee tube that unfortunately we haven’t been able to test.

 

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